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Body language

Non-verbal communication

Everything you do carries non-verbal messages. For example, a well-typed letter on good quality paper with an attractive letterhead will carry a non-verbal message that this organisation is efficient and worthy of respect. On the other hand, a few words scribbled on cheap and tattered paper with dirty fingerprints on it will carry quite a different message. Another form of non-verbal communication is body language which covers:
The importance of non-verbal communication has only been recognised in the recent past. Estimates vary, but it is generally understood that only:
The actions of a person will either reinforce verbal messages or, if there appears to be a conflict, may give you an indication of the real frame of mind of the people you are dealing with. Body language, both your own and that of others requires careful observation.
Guests may say that they are happy with what you are doing for them but their body language displays negative gestures and possibly the opposite feeling. Practise the skill of observing and analysing basic signals of behaviour to better understand what the body language of your customer is really saying.

Facial appearance


 Observe the face of a person – what do you see?
Ethnic origins, age, gender, jewellery, make up, the image that a person wants to project, all these factors combine to give you indications of the type of person you are dealing with.
To make a character judgement from facial structure and appearance only can be superficial. Facial appearance is only one of a wide range of non-verbal signs that you need to take into consideration.

Facial expression


 The expression is a good indicator of emotions —happiness, surprise, sadness, fear, anger, disgust, interest and many more.
Different types of smiles transmit different non-verbal information.
For example, a slight tilt at the corners of the mouth, a wide-open mouth of great amusement or astonishment, each smile transmits a non verbal message.
Be aware that some people have cultivated much greater control over their expression than others.

Eye contact


 This is one of the most important non-verbal cues in our society. You are expected to meet other peoples’ gazes when you communicate.
If you fail to do this, you can be interpreted as being deceptive, weak, bored or angry. There are actually complicated rules governing eye behaviour, with much variation on the direction of the gaze and the length of time you look at someone.
For example, you will look less frequently and for shorter periods if you are lying or if you are embarrassed or if you dislike the person you are talking to. The longer gaze indicates more intimacy and shows a sign of interest and attention. Depending on the context and relationship, it can be friendly, hostile or sexual.
While eye contact is supremely important in Western society you will need to know that in some societies—most Asian societies, for example—it can be embarrassing and intrusive. If you are dealing with people from another culture you must be aware of their background and allow for the differences in their cultures.

Voice


 Your voice is a reliable indicator of nationality, regional origin, social class, educational level, age and gender. Allied to paralanguage (rate, pitch, stress, intonation) it can carry up to 38 per cent of the message. It also discloses the emotional state of the speaker and conveys attitudes such as sarcasm.

Body/physique


 The body in general reinforces the face, so that if a face shows dejection the body will tend to droop. This is not surprising, as it is the whole person who is having these feelings. The body often reflects an individual’s self-concept indicating their self esteem.

Clothing


 This aspect of non-verbal communication gives you a lot of information. The clothes a person wears can disclose economic and social class, personality, occupation, values and self-concept.
Clothes are used to project an image and are used to indicate group memberships and affiliations.

Gestures and mannerisms


 Specific movements or gestures can indicate what a person wishes to convey to you. For example, a listener might nod their head during a conversation or a member of the police force might hold up a hand with the palm outwards to signify ‘stop!’ You might use a beckoning gesture to call a person to you or wave to say good-bye. There are many gestures we use often it is important to be aware that gestures have different meanings in other cultures

Posture


 Posture refers to ‘how you position your body’ often indicating your feelings or attitudes at the time. Posture can be open or closed (defensive).
When you place some kind of barrier in front of your body—for example, folding your arms across your chest or crossing your legs or your ankles indicate closed posture. In the closed posture you are signalling rejection or defensiveness and your attitude towards the other person is negative.
When there are no barriers between yourself and the other person you signal receptivity and acceptance. For example, inclining the top half of the body towards the other person indicates interest and involvement in what they are saying or doing. This is only one example of open posture there are many more.

Space


 Each of us has a different personal space requirement; this is because we have individual personalities and experiences. Certain situations and cultural backgrounds can influence the amount of personal space required. Invading someone’s personal space can make that person uncomfortable and non-receptive.
For example, standing close to and facing a person can invade their personal space; a wheelchair user’s personal space includes the wheelchair. Respect this space.

Touch


 This type of non-verbal communication is extremely powerful. In our society it must be used with discretion. To be effective, touch must occur at the right moment and in the right context, otherwise it can be violently rejected and may even lead to charges of harassment. In general, we prefer not to be touched by other people
Most people will accept a handshake, this can signal liking or can relieve tension or hostility.


By becoming aware of and receptive to the mass of non verbal information that is available, you can start to develop your ability to read non-verbal signals and thereby build up an awareness and intuition that will help you increase your communication skills.

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